We've crunched the numbers and have very good news for bearded men: you guys are enjoying more and better gay sex than your clean-shaven brothers.  We'll present the often surprising results from our extensive analysis of interview data, pictorial and anecdotal evidence.  And we'll seek to explain why bearded men are having more fun.

Number of Orgasms Per Month
Bearded men experience, on average, two additional orgasms per month.  This may not be dramatic news, but even one extra orgasm is nothing to sneeze at.  What we've found is that bearded men are enjoying more frequent and more successful dates than their beardless counterparts.  One explanation is that in the reduced lighting conditions of a gay bar, dance club, or back alleyway, bearded men are visibly (not to mention proudly) masculine to guys seeking manly companionship.

Orgasmic Intensity
Bearded men enjoy, on average, one more ejaculatory contraction than their beardless counterparts, meaning that their orgasms are slightly longer and more pleasurable.  One explanation is that bearded men are attracting highly sexual partners and therefore are enjoying more intense encounters, resulting in more powerful finishes.  Another explanation is that a man's body hairs are like antennae for picking up ambient sexual energy, making bearded men that much more erotically attuned.

The data are unambiguous that bearded men's foreplay is 18% more intense than average, with more deep kissing and more extensive body worship.  As one interviewee explained, his dates like to feel his beard tickle under their balls, in their armpits, across their chests and bellies, and so on.

Oral and Anal Sex
Though bearded men's experience of anal sex is not statistically different from their beardless counterparts, we have found that bearded men enjoy 7% more blowjobs than average.

Fetish Sex
If you're looking to get tied up, sporting a beard apparently carries no special advantage, according to our data.  One explanation is that bearded men tend to get associated with masters as opposed to slaves.  However, bearded men enjoy 29% more piss and spit in their sweaty encounters, as well as 34% more rough sex.

Beards simultaneously project two different messages: masculine virility as well as sensitivity.  For all its rugged bristles, the beard is also soft and cuddly.  That means that after an athletic session (8% more athletic than beardless sex), bearded men are more likely to enjoy luxurious cuddling and even sleeping the whole night together.