1. Denial: I simply can't believe my dick isn't getting sucked.  It's not possible that someone isn't sucking my dick right now.  I mean, look at it -- this is a dick made for someone's hungry mouth.  A dick like this is worth 24/7 blowjobs.

2. Anger: Why isn't my fucking dick getting sucked?!  Where are people's priorities?  No wonder the world is a lousy shit-hole when nobody is even smart enough to suck my fucking dick!

3. Bargaining: If somebody, anybody, will suck my dick, I won't entertain a selfish thought for the entire rest of the day. 

4. Depression: I'm never going to get my dick sucked.  What's the point in even having a dick if nobody will ever suck it?  I don't even feel like jerking off, because a dick was made to get sucked, so why even bother cumming otherwise?  I might as well go join a monastery.  No, wait -- those monks are sucking each other off non-stop.  Even guys who have taken a vow of celibacy get more action than I do.

5. Acceptance: I've only been waiting to get my dick sucked for five minutes.  Hang on, hard-on -- we can get through this together.