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Take a Deep Breath and Then ...

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Michael Ian Black, Watersports

Best way to reduce stress?  It's just like goin' swimmin'. Take a deep breath then piss all over yourself.

Confessions of a Piss Slut

 tags: Stories, Watersports

This is an overheard conversation, spoken quietly but audibly between two men at a restaurant.  CAUTION: The details of this conversation are kinky and will be considered disgusting by vanilla-oriented homosexuals:

A: Does David know you've turned me into a piss slut?

B: Well, I think he knows, generally, that piss sex has rocked our world.

A: So he doesn't know that you've taught me to drink all of your piss throughout the day?

B: I haven't told him explicitly that I use your mouth as my urinal, no.  He has no knowledge that I mark my territory like an animal and that your mouth is mine to piss in and spit in and fuck.

A: Does he at least know that I bring you tall drinks and ask you to gulp them down so that you'll piss in my mouth sooner?

B: No, I haven't mentioned that you serve me pre-piss or that you beg for me to piss down your throat every waking hour.  Why, do you want me to tell David about your insatiable thirst to have hard pissing dicks spraying your tonsils?

A: I wouldn't be ashamed for him to know.  I just don't want him to think it's some sort of sweet, nurturing act.  I'd want him to know that when you unzip your pants, my mouth opens to be your toilet.  I'd want it to be clear to David that I don't guzzle your piss so much as submit to you relieving yourself down my throat.  I'd want him to know that you abuse my mouth and that when I urinate it's your own piss flowing through my dick.  I'd want him to know what when I've finished swallowing your piss, I ask you to drink more so that you can do it to me again.  I'd also want him to know that if I'm thirsty and you're not ready to piss down my throat, I'll piss in a glass and drink it in front of you, since it's your piss, and that you like watching me do that.

B: So you want me to tell David that you're a nasty piss slut and share graphic details?

A: I'm just saying I wouldn't mind him knowing, if he did.  I had just assumed you'd already told him what you do to me.

B: I don't know that David would even find it hot that your mouth is my urinal.  This is a fringe fetish, after all.

A: You're right.  Let's play it safe and not tell him.

Which Urinal Do You Choose?

 tags: Humor, Watersports

"Do you choose the urinal that's higher than the others or the one where you can look in a mirror while you pee? Either way you're a douche."

I Like When Men's Rooms Have ...

 tags: Cocks, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel, Watersports

I like when men's rooms have sexy pictures on the wall so I can get superhard right before I pee.
—the superhard Rob Huebel

Is It Still Public Urination If ...

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Watersports

Is it still public urination if no one can see me doing it?
—Michael Showalter, of Wet Hot American Summer fame