I just want to hug something till I cum.
—the squeeze-worthy Michael Ian Black
I bet you are dating the guy who, when someone takes a sip of eggnog, cracks "that's not eggnog!!"
—the smooth and creamy Rob Huebel
Guys, we should treat every day like it's Valentine's Day (spend eight bucks on flowers, then ask for a blowy).
—the romantic Michael Ian Black
I wear sunsets to bed.