I think my tongue might be too wide.
—the lickable and likable Michael Ian Black
But we say not to worry, as a wide tongue allows for licking two dickheads at once:
Guys, we should treat every day like it's Valentine's Day (spend eight bucks on flowers, then ask for a blowy).
—the romantic Michael Ian Black
The throat drowns with old friends.
"When you get exhausted then you know it's time for more."
—Adam Ant, "Manners & Physique"
A good highbrow/lowbrow insult would be: "You are cordially invited to suck my fat dick."
—the very cordial Michael Ian Black