I read books because I am not a dick.
—Michael Ian Black, whose biggest sexual organ is his brain
An inch below the ass
is where everything happens
—William Keckler, the Poet Laureate of the Gay Pornosphere
Somebody should write a song comparing fireworks to how love can make you feel.
—the luminous Michael Ian Black
Please Lord allow me to live long enough to have an embarrassing age difference between myself and the person I am fucking.
I just got back from Nantucket
Traffic wasn't bad; I ducked it.
Now I'm off to bed
W/ dreams in my head
Of that guy who sucks his own dick
—poetry-in-motion Michael Ian Black