Comedian Michael Ian Black quips: "New slogan for bagels: The breakfast food you can fuck."
Going through this phase where all I want to do is eat everything and sleep and fuck.
Fun craft idea: put a wooden skewer in your pee hole.
—the crafty Michael Ian Black, whose gay sex scene with Bradley Cooper (in Wet Hot American Summer) remains a favorite
(Wooden skewer face photo by A. Rosenberg.)
I know I’ve been partying too hard when I wake up with a bunch of mysterious bruises on my bananas.
"Son, if you piss really hard into the bowl, it makes your willy sound bigger."
"That's great dad, but you've ruined my cornflakes."
—a tweet by Dan