Due to extenuating personal circumstances, after 21 years I need to retire keepstill.com. If you or someone you know might be interested in taking it over, please email me an offer/proposal. Best wishes, guys.
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I Would Barely Be Raped

 tags: Asses, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor

I feel like I'm getting to the age where if I was ever sent to prison I would barely be raped.
—Gary Janetti

Tell Your Dad to Take You to the Hospital Because ...

 tags: Cocks, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor

Phone your da and tell him he'll need to take you to casualty cos the Viagra isn't wearing off and you've got a christening in the morning.
—the ever-hard Scottish comedian Iain Connell

Who is the Real Prisoner?

 tags: Anal Sex, Here's What It Looks Like

Who is the real prisoner? The man locked behind bars? Or the man who is free, but unable to––ugh, hold on, getting sodomized.
—Dan Guterman

Confession: I'm a Squirter (3)

 tags: Ejaculation, Here's What It Looks Like, Michael Ian Black

We can't stop thinking about Michael Ian Black's saucy confession: "I'm a squirter."

There Should Be a Way to Pee Out of Your Mouth

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Rob Huebel, Watersports

There should be a way to pee out of your mouth.
—the dirty-mouth of Rob Huebel