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Screw You, Man, It's True

 tags: ReM/Mixed Erotica, Stories

ReM/Mixed Erotica: Inn Fucking Credible
Authorized reM/Mix by Confidant of "Inn Fucking Credible” by Jeremy Edwards.
© 2008-2013 Jeremy Edwards. All rights reserved.

"Whoa, dude, I fucked Marty this weekend.”

"I don’t believe it.”

"I did, man. He was at Jake’s barbecue, see, and I asked him if he wanted to hit the lake with me.”


"So we rented a boat, dude. Then I took him to dinner at this little hotel. It got late, and he, like, suggested we stay over.”

"Oh, he suggested it. Nice touch.”

"I’m tellin’ you, dude.”

"You are such a goddam liar.”

"Once we got upstairs, he was pretty, y’know, passionate. He wanted my cock in his mouth before we did anything else.”


"And then I ate him out. You know how I love to eat ass.”

"Why would I know that?”

"He was really tasty. And, man, he got loud. He was screaming for me to fuck him, after a while.”

"You sure he wasn’t talking about something else?”

"Of course I’m fucking sure, asshole. Anyway, he really knew how to move. I hardly had to do anything.”

"Why would you have to do anything, when you made the whole thing up?”

"Screw you, man, it’s true. Then he did this incredible massage thing on me, to make me get it up again so I could go for sloppy seconds. He really wanted me to fuck him again before we hit the sack. He wanted to get buttfucked, dude.”

"So you said.”

"Why the fuck don’t you believe me?”

"Because I’m Marty. And I think your autodialer is messed up.”

Spend Eight Bucks on Flowers, Then Ask for a Blowy

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Michael Ian Black, Oral Sex, Romance

Guys, we should treat every day like it's Valentine's Day (spend eight bucks on flowers, then ask for a blowy).
—the romantic Michael Ian Black

Before & After #198

 tags: Before & After, Interactive

Here's the "before" . . . Click on the image to reveal the "after."

What Time Does the Chocolate-Dildo Store Close?

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel, Sex Toys

Dammit. What time does the chocolate-dildo store close?
—the sweet mouth of Rob Huebel

One Way to Separate the Men from the Boys

 tags: Bondage, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor

Using a high-speed centrifuge to separate the men from the boys.
—Dan Guterman