I like when men's rooms have sexy pictures on the wall so I can get superhard right before I pee.
—the superhard Rob Huebel
Whoever left that note on my windshield, you should know that the erection you drew stabbing me thru the brain is physically impossible.
Here's the "before" . . . Click on the image to reveal the "after."
I think my tongue might be too wide.
—the lickable and likable Michael Ian Black
But we say not to worry, as a wide tongue allows for licking two dickheads at once: