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Please Ring for Service

 tags: ReM/Mixed Erotica, Stories

Unreliable hotel wireless signals make it hard to surf gay porn ... unless you're Jeremy Edwards, who nonchalantly allowed us to make his story very homoerotic. 

ReM/Mixed Erotica: Wireless-less
Authorized reM/Mix by Confidant of "Wireless-less” by Jeremy Edwards.
Find the original M/F story here.
© 2008 Jeremy Edwards. All rights reserved.

They promised me wireless, and all I got was a breakfast of something that they call bagels that I call ring-shaped rolls. Bagels are boiled, dammit. And I need my wireless. And now it’s fuckin’ snowing.

"I can let you use the computer in the office,” the night clerk says when I ask for the umpteenth time today if they’ve figured out how to make the wireless work.

I roll his offer around in my head. You see, I need my wireless because I need to look at radiant men jerking off. What, you thought I needed it for work? Fuck you—I’m on vacation.

The sites are bookmarked on my laptop, but, don’t worry, I can find them again. And I’m thinking that the night clerk would have to leave me alone in the office, so he could stay at the counter. Oh, but wait—there’s a "please ring for service” setup. Fuck, so he’s thinking he’ll stay in the office and do the goddam filing while I access my e-mail and check the sports or whatever he thinks I’m going to be doing instead of looking at all that raw, ejaculatory beauty.

He blinks, and it draws my attention. There’s a tiger in his eyes. Damn, so maybe he’s hoping I’m going to surf porn. Maybe he’ll lean over my shoulder and say, "No ... go to this site,” and he’ll show me what he likes. What he wants.

He’s smiling, hungry for my answer. It’s snowing really hard.

The Way I Rape His Art

 tags: Food Sex, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor

Hard to take the guy who made my sandwich seriously as an "artisan" when he seems so unperturbed by the way I rape his art.

There Should Be a Booth ...

 tags: Food Sex, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Ways to Jack Off

There should be a booth inside every Whole Foods where you can just masturbate to the quality of the produce.
—Dan Guterman

Before & After #202

 tags: Before & After, Interactive

Here's the "before" . . . Click on the image to reveal the "after."

Dreaming of a Three-Way

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel

My dog is asleep making noises like he's dreaming about a three-way with me and the mailman.
Rob Huebel, who is good with a leash