Due to extenuating personal circumstances, after 21 years I need to retire keepstill.com. If you or someone you know might be interested in taking it over, please email me an offer/proposal. Best wishes, guys.
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Do I Need to Worry About ...

 tags: Humor, Rob Huebel

Do I need to worry about ghosts putting their dicks in my food?
—the inquisitive Rob Huebel

Masturbating Because ...

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Ways to Jack Off

Masturbating because its 12pm to 3am somewhere.
—the preoccupied Dan Guterman

A Good Hot Dog For When You're Trying to Impress

 tags: Food Sex, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor

What's a good hot dog to give someone you're trying to impress?
—Dan Guterman (whom we relish)

Stuck in a Glory Hole

 tags: Cocks, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel

Please, Whole Foods don't fire me as your self appointed men's bathroom monitor just because I got stuck in 1 little glory hole!
—the massively-endowed Rob Huebel

When People Ask If I'm a Real Fireman ...

 tags: Anal Sex, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel

When people ask if I'm a real fireman, I just point out the burning car we're fucking in.
—the smoldering Rob Huebel