Due to extenuating personal circumstances, after 21 years I need to retire keepstill.com. If you or someone you know might be interested in taking it over, please email me an offer/proposal. Best wishes, guys.
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What Is In Us is More Important Than What is On Us

 tags: Anal Sex, Ejaculation, Here's What It Looks Like

What is in us is more important than what is on us.
—Tom Howe

Not a Euphemism

 tags: Asses, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Michael Ian Black

If anybody needs me to build a fire in his fireplace, I am good at that. (This is not a euphemism for penis in butthole.)
—the smoldering Michael Ian Black (paraphrased)

Accepting Handjobs in the Men's Room at Halftime

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel

After reviewing the play, the ruling on the field stands, and I will be accepting handjobs in the men's room at halftime, first down.
—the very accepting Rob Huebel

Using a Hand Mirror ...

 tags: Humor, Ways to Jack Off

Using a hand mirror, he examines the base of his hot, lubricated ball sack and decides upon KFC for lunch.

I'm Letting My Butthole Ferment

 tags: Anal Sex, Asses, Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Michael Ian Black

This holiday season, I'm letting my butthole ferment.
—the intoxicating asshole (in the very best sense of the word) Michael Ian Black