If anybody needs me to build a fire in his fireplace, I am good at that. (This is not a euphemism for penis in butthole.)
—the smoldering Michael Ian Black (paraphrased)
After reviewing the play, the ruling on the field stands, and I will be accepting handjobs in the men's room at halftime, first down.
—the very accepting Rob Huebel
Using a hand mirror, he examines the base of his hot, lubricated ball sack and decides upon KFC for lunch.
This holiday season, I'm letting my butthole ferment.
—the intoxicating asshole (in the very best sense of the word) Michael Ian Black