Pretty sure I have tendinitis in my elbow if anybody knows a good massage place that finishes you off.
—the full release of Michael Ian Black
I just want to hug something till I cum.
—the squeeze-worthy Michael Ian Black
Here's the best homoerotic line out-of-context we've seen in a good while:
"It takes three men to run [and] grab them by the horns and jerk them off."
The context is goats piling up in a corner. But it sounds like a college hazing ceremony to us. ;-) The line appears in the book Harder Than Hardscrabble: Oral Recollections of the Farming Life from the Edge of the Texas Hill Country.
Meanwhile, here's three men grabbing them by the horns and jerking them off: