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He Who Eats His Cock Alone ...

 tags: Ejaculation, Here's What It Looks Like

Is it possible to suck a dick and not be a cocksucker?  We answer this question in our Advice column, here.

Meanwhile, there's an old proverb: "He who eats his cock alone, saddles his horse alone."

Zeno's Fucking Paradox

 tags: Anal Sex

A man's ass can never be completely fucked, and this was explained about 2,500 years ago by the Greek philosopher Zeno. Before a man can be completely fucked, he obviously has to be fucked halfway. Let's say he meets a fantastic lover who makes bedroom gymnastics a true art form, and that lover takes him halfway to the fuck-of-a-lifetime. Perhaps they go for another round, but they have to make it halfway of the remaining distance. Each halfway point gets cut in half, and while the distance to the fuck-of-a-lifetime gets closer and closer each time, the subdivisions go into infinity. You can add 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/16 ... and so on forever, and you'll never add up to 1. So a man can be nearly fucked for good, but the perfect feeling of being once-and-for-all truly and utterly fucked is a goal that can never quite be attained, no matter how talented the lovers. If you're interested in learning more about Zeno's (fucking) paradox, there are books on the market like Zeno's Paradox: Unraveling the Ancient Mystery Behind the Science of Space and Time.

The Gayest, Most Forbidden Egyptian Symbols

 tags: Red Hot Gray Areas

There are still places in the world where not only is modern gay culture unlawful, but age-old gaiety is also suppressed.  Egyptologists are a conservative bunch who have deliberately hidden the gayest, most deviant symbols of ancient Egypt by virtue of their startlingly explicit nature.  The symbols showcased in the controversial Forbidden Hieroglyphs are all genuine, and their meanings, while shocking, are instantly decipherable to modern-day gays.  It would seem that the more history has passed, the more homosexuals want the same things.  Finally, gays can do away with the 26 letters of the English alphabet and embrace a wholly queer language with 66 characters.  (Or, at least, they can use these forbidden symbols for tattooing and sex magick ideas.)  FYI, used copies of this book are going for $59, but Amazon currently has a new copy for $8.00.

Here's a random page from the book:

(The text reads, "The eyes of a hawk miss nothing, especially when it comes to crotch bulges.  An older meaning of this hieroglyph was hawking, as in selling, goods -- in other words, a hustler who offered his cock for money.")

Snow Is Actually Made of ...

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Michael Ian Black

Snow loses some of its majesty when you realize it's just frozen angel jizz.

The Mind Region Looks Like a Dick

 tags: Before & After, Cocks

Doesn't the "mind region" of this vintage diagram look like a dick? No wonder guys have sex on their brains all the time. Click on the diagram to overlay a penis. The illustration appears in Cosmic Law by Lysander Hill, 1916.

Mind Region
Cosmic Law by Lysander Hill (1916)