tags: It Takes a Man
The idea behind the visual below is simple: while technology is great, let's not allow a virtual "like" or "heart" or "thumb up" of a hot guy to substitute for showing affection one-on-one. Clicking a "thumb up" must not replace actually sticking your thumb up a man's hole. Clicking a "heart" icon must not replace laying a hand on a man's bare chest and feeling his heartbeat. There's no more meaningful way to show appreciation for a man than to ejaculate all over him. By all means, click away on the internet as you will, but back up that virtual love with flesh and fluids.
The numbers are in, and men who leave their shirts open so as to display chest hair are enjoying fully 18% more sex than their buttoned-up brothers.
If you have to wear a tie, you can still display fur:
Even if you wear a costume, no problem:
This man enjoyed two encounters the day he left his shirt completely unbuttoned:
He finally realized it would be a crime to ever button his shirt:
Learning from Porn
by William Keckler, the Poet Laureate of the Gay Pornosphere
One thing we learn from porn
is that virtually all plumbers
have ingenious desires
and designs on large subpopulations
of the human race.
Their demographic is everyone.
And though you scoff
at the lowly state
of acne-ridden delivery boys,
we know for a fact from porn
they are only one doorbell away
from your sweet Desmond's willing ass.
Maybe you have sat in the dark
with Travis Bickle too,
and learned the way boys whose hands
are well-acquainted with their ankles
really are, once they realize
the camera of desire is watching
them, hungry, waiting.
It is all so very educational.
It really is the perfect university
for a life of masturbation
and confused regret.