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Oral Fixations - The Zinger

 tags: Oral Sex

Yesterday you voted on whether my latest oral probing was at the hands of a rubber-gloved dentist or a filthy-fingered landscaper, and I promised to share my adventure's surprising zinger.

Kudos to my buddies who voted "Both A and B." I did go to the dentist to have my pesky wisdom tooth removed, but just outside his office was a hunky lawn man whose sweaty balls needed a good draining. Now for the zinger:

As the dentist was manhandling my mouth, he asked me, "Do you know Jesús?" At first I thought he was asking me if I was a religious man. Then I realized that he could smell the cum on my breath. Even though I had fed the landscaper's sticky load back to him, I'd gone directly from the blow job into the dentist's office, so the musky scent must have still been fresh on my breath. I mumbled an answer, but it came out garbled since my mouth was stuffed full of the dentist's fingers and instruments. It didn't matter, as the dentist understood only too well. We both looked over at Jesús through the office window, languidly spraying the lawn with a big hose.

I looked through my archives for a photo that would give you some idea of what Jesús looks like. Here's a guy who comes quite close.

Luciano - Latin Jocks
"Luciano" (Latin Jocks) More from this set »

Oral Fixations

 tags: Interactive, Oral Sex, Polls

Take a guess at what amazing thing happened to Your Bearded Confidant today. First, here are the facts:

A man grasped my jaw with his large hands, pried open my lips, and did his thing inside my mouth. There was a sucking sound and the squirting of fluids. After the man was finished with me, I felt euphoric.

Here are the possibilities:

A. I went to the dentist to have a wisdom tooth extracted.

B. Outside the dentist's office I saw a landscaper leaning against the wall on a break. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat and hugged his chiseled torso as if it were painted on. His left hand was resting casually against the bulging crotch of his filthy jeans, barely hiding a hardon. We didn't have to speak a word — our eyes communicated everything we desired. I followed him to his van, which smelled of gasoline but offered privacy for the lewd act to follow. He knelt like an altar boy in prayer, and I knelt even deeper, like a supplicant Buddhist monk. I sucked his uncut Latin cock as if I were going in for mouth surgery and might have to lay off sex for a few days. He came in my mouth, then opened his mouth and motioned for me to spit his load back to him. I had a gleaming smile even before I entered the dentist's office.

C. Both A and B.

Check in Monday for the surprising zinger to my story.

Meanwhile, don't miss my scandalous interview over at the sultry Trollop Salon, in which I explain an amazing phenomenon that can happen during a chain fuck.

Also, see my recent guest blog about tangled dicks over at gay-friendly Smut Girl's blog.

On Being an "Object"

 tags: It Takes a Man, Stripping, Voyeurism

We heard a prominent porn star/DJ bemoaning how people think of him as an "object." With emotion, he announced, "I'm not an object; I'm a human being." He was irritated, you see, that when he's stripping on a live cam, guys will ask him to finger his ass. He said that he'll finger his ass only if he wishes to, and not because others ask him to, because he's not an object. Well ... we're frankly perplexed. What's wrong with being an object? An object is something that can be seen and perhaps touched. If this guy doesn't wish to be seen and touched, it would be so very easy for him to put on some clothes to cover up that huge cock and those distinctive body tattoos and those shapely muscles. Then he could be an anonymous human being like most of society. The Joe Schmoes of the world aren't objects because they're too camouflaged to be noticed by anyone. 

What's wrong with being an object, especially when you're making a living out of displaying your hot body? Imagine a great artist like Michelangelo presenting his celebrated statue of David but saying, "Now please don't consider this work of art an object! Sure, I'm presenting to the general public a vision of ideal masculine beauty in all its naked glory, but don't demean it by looking at it and by no means touch!" Indeed, that would have been a nutty attitude for Michelangelo to express. We have some news for porn stars -- you are objects, so get used to it, celebrate that fact, or go undercover (literally).

An object is a person or thing to which a specified action or feeling is directed, and if a man strips and performs sex acts and ejaculates in front of other men, he is deliberately encouraging his viewers to feel horny and to direct their sexual yearnings toward him. It's ever so easy not to be the object of other people's desires. First, make yourself look ugly by not taking care of your body and not bathing, then cover yourself up in drab, generic clothing, and then mostly stay indoors. Bingo -- you're guaranteed not to be a porn star! And you won't be tarnished by all that dirty money, either.

It takes a real man to transform himself into the perfect model of masculinity, to earn a living off his body, and to know that no third party has the power to diminish his humanity. And we say this objectively.

Our Two Favorite Bearded Gender-Fuckers Sing About Dick

 tags: Music Lovers

How can a guy suck a kilometer of dick?  20 centimeters at a time, of course!  Benjamin Dukhan (a.k.a. The Burger Girl) explains all as he scandalizes city streets as a "Kilometer Sucker."  Don't miss the moment, at about 3:07, when Benjamin surprises a jogger by lunging at his cock like a rabid dog.

Meanwhile, our other favorite bearded gender-fucker, Pierre Pascual, sings about the desire to fill a mouth with cum as the point of no return approaches.  Even if you don't speak French, the visuals should be plenty:

Essential Music: Sambaca & Pieces of Gold

 tags: Music Lovers

Here are three incredible music videos we're grooving to this week.

First up, the Italians known as Alien Alien demonstrate that gay men don't have to pigeon hole their gender expression.  They can be masculine (sporting beards and chest hair) and wear some campy clothing and yet not be clowns.  (Not that there's anything wrong with clowns or the silly outskirts of the drag queendom, but that form of expression of course isn't for everyone.)  We love the sexy groove of Alien Alien's music -- definitely enjoy having mansex to it:

Meanwhile, Aikiu have cleverly and lovingly incorporated vintage gay porn into this music video:

How many blonde bombshells are gay men at heart?  The artist known as Actually Huizenga enjoys gay male orgies, and she incorporates them into her music videos.  Consider this one: