I shouldn't have lied on my résumé, but I doubt they'll ever actually measure my penis.
—the very funny Alex Baze
I have a lot of TIME on my hands. Now I have a lot of SEMEN on my hands.
—Jeffrey Hadz, who has the right idea
I do believe in homosexual superiority; [the] world would be better place if more people slept with own gender.
—Alexander Bard, philosopher and founder of the bands Army of Lovers, Vacuum, Bodies without Organs, Gravitonas, and others
tags: Michael Ian Black
At some point today, I am going to be absolutely, fully, buck naked.
—Michael Ian Black, nudist extraordinaire