Due to extenuating personal circumstances, after 21 years I need to retire keepstill.com. If you or someone you know might be interested in taking it over, please email me an offer/proposal. Best wishes, guys.
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If I Was a Dentist

 tags: Humor

If I was a dentist, the first thing I would do is get my dick transplanted onto my hand.
—the inimitable Iain Connell

About to Pleasure My ...

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Rob Huebel

About to pleasure my clavicle.
—the autoerotic Rob Huebel

Have you pleasured your own clavicle today?

Don't forget that you can also pleasure a buddy's clavicle:

Making Your Asshole Smell Like ___

 tags: Asses, Humor, Michael Ian Black

Don't want to tell anybody what to do, but maybe vanilla-scented toilet paper so your asshole smells like vanilla?
—from the sweetest smelling asshole we've encountered, Michael Ian Black

Grab a bottle of vanilla extract and sniff it while browsing our "Ass Sniffing" collection.  It might just blow your mind.

Looks Like Spunk When It Dries

 tags: Cocks, Ejaculation, Here's What It Looks Like, Oral Sex

Wearing some wonderful hair product that goes a bit white in the rain and looks like flakes of spunk when it dries in again.
—the spunkiest man in Scotland, Iain Connell

A Big Man's Job

 tags: It Takes a Man