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An Old Chinese Proverb

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, It Takes a Man

There's an ancient Chinese proverb that a man is truly a man only while he is ejaculating.  The ancient Chinese put it more poetically, saying that a man is a man when "the fire dragon offers a string of pearls to the cherry blossom."  The fire of course refers to sexual passion, the dragon is the untamable cock, the pearls are drops of cum, and to this day we still refer to a virgin's "cherry."  We're searching the archives for a shot of a guy spraying jizz all over a cherry blossom, but in the meantime here's a cock ravaging a rose.

I Failed at Homosexuality

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor, Ways to Jack Off

I shouldn't confess this, but I think now I have even failed homosexuality. And I studied so goddamn hard. Decades even.
—William Keckler, the Poet Laureate of the Gay Pornosphere

One of My Armpits Smells Amazing

 tags: Armpits, Humor, Michael Ian Black

One of my armpits smells amazing.
—the sensual Michael Ian Black

Teachers Made Me What I Am Today

 tags: Here's What It Looks Like, Humor

Teachers made me what I am today (afraid to go to the bathroom without asking permission).
—Josh Comers

It Rhymes With "Oranges"

 tags: Food Sex

It's said that nothing rhymes with "oranges."  But we beg to differ.  "Oranges" rhymes with "warrants jizz."