We loved and had to share these sexy ruminations from an exhibitionist friend whose first taste of cum was his own very first ejaculation during a self-sucking session. He easily qualifies as the hottest guy we know!

I was talking to a friend recently who relocated to a new state. He was remarking how the guys at his gym don’t seem to have any issue walking around naked in the locker room and that they all have these beautiful bodies. My experience in gyms has been kind of mixed where that’s concerned. Depending on the vibe, some guys are more apt to parade off to the shower or sauna in the nude. The chain gym I go to now is generally reserved. Guys have towels wrapped tight and pull their underwear up around their waist before removing the towel.

Regardless, this brought to mind my own journey as a closet exhibitionist. I believe I was only 10 or 11 when I became quite infatuated with the image of my naked body in the mirror. I recall having thoughts of being a stripper even back then at this young age. I wanted to be objectified. It interests me that I had that desire so young and I don’t recall any inappropriate behavior that would encourage that. It just was. The first sexual experience I had masturbating was within that time as well because I remember this wonderful jolt coming over my entire body yet, no fluid came out of my penis. That’s how young I was. I do recall thinking "whoah, that must be what an orgasm is”. I already had feelings of being gay and I was flexible and adept enough to get my own penis in my mouth. The first time I actually ejaculated was going down on myself, full swallow and all. I didn’t even see what came out. It was a surprise even to me because I had only shot blanks up to that point. I figured that one out real quick too like, "OH, THAT’S what that was!” I even recall one time my cousins visiting from out of state. I frequently hung out with the male cousin who was two years older than me and told him of my desire to strip. He told me I could strip for him and he "wouldn’t get off on it or anything”. He’s definitely straight but, I just never trusted him and likely felt my own youthful inhibitions and shame about it and declined to give him a show. My cousin masturbated in the bathroom like a fiend so I’m sure I would have been fodder for his sessions just because of his young age.

Anyway, fast forward to coming out and going to gay strip clubs. Getting drunk with friends one night, I wanted SO bad to take my clothes off and get up on the bar and be pawed and objectified like these hot guys. Sad to say, I had a boyfriend at the time who was not keen on seeing me strip in front of a bunch of strangers. We even took a vacation once to Key West and stayed at a clothing optional gay resort. Although my partner had a nice body, he was self conscious about people looking at him. Certainly, he was more a voyeur than exhibitionist. I kept my clothes on again. I recall the guilt when we went into one of the hot tubs where 3 or 4 guys were already soaking. They were young gays like us. We had our bathing trunks on with no clue that they might be enjoying their nudity. As we got in, one of the guys turned to his partner and uncomfortably asked "can you hand me my trunks?” His partner reached behind him where I saw their swim trunks in a pile. He squirmed into his trunks while keeping his perfectly nude body submerged. My ex was an asshole anyway and this just felt par for the course.

Today, I’m older and less secure about my own body. It’s not bad as a 40-something goes and guys I meet certainly enjoy it. I don’t spend time agonizing over it. Still, for a wanna-be exhibitionist, I would like to tone up and I do go to the gym regularly. I’d love to have one last opportunity to be objectified.

Keep up with his further ruminations at His Gay Life.