Dear Bearded Confidant,

My lover lives with Tourette syndrome, and I'm increasingly worried that he doesn't really mean the abusive things that he barks at me ... in other words, maybe it's the disorder talking and not genuine verbal assault.  One problem with Tourette syndrome is that a supportive environment tends to calm the coprolalia (spontaneous obscenities), so if I reveal that I'm getting off on the abuse, the insults begin to wane. 

Dear Tic'd Off,

The only way you'll ever know your lover really means his degrading obscenities is to find yourself a genuine master of verbal abuse who doesn't live with Tourette syndrome.  The very fact that you're worried about the abusiveness of this relationship points to the need for some fresh insults.  When you're screening a potential new boyfriend, be sure to ask him to tell the most offensive joke he knows, as that will give you a good window into his mental depravity.  If what he comes up with isn't as at least as offensive as the following "most offensive joke ever," show him the door and keep looking.  Here's the "most offensive joke ever," and I must warn just about every reader to stop reading and not subject himself to the following offensiveness:

A self-loathing Jew is bareback fucking the ass of a self-loathing neo-Nazi eating a can of beans.  As he starts to shoot sperm, the Jew exclaims, "Here's another 200 million delivered into your gas chamber."  The neo-Nazi, lips dripping and eyes tearing, cries out, "I'm not worthy!"