Dear Bearded Confidant,

Is it your opinion that most/some/all "straight" men have at one time had a gay sexual experience in their lives and decided it wasn't for them?  I would guess with so much homophobia out there, they would be afraid to admit it for fear of putting their masculinity in question.  I have a couple of HOT straight friends that I would do the Big Lewinsky on in a sec (I'd settle for mutual masturbation).  I am tempted to ask them if they ever had a gay experience when they were teens or in college but how should I phrase it?  How, where, when?  Over drinks/wine?  I really would love to beat one or both off or suck off one or both of these guys and then not have to worry about it anymore.  P.S. One is married, is a fitness trainer, and he has a body that... never mind, I'm going to beat off now.

Dear Bob,

From mutual jerk-off to sucking to out-and-out butt-fucking, you can get a straight man to do pretty much anything you want him to do if you play your cards right. First, the proper location/environment is crucial. The man in question will be most comfortable during a casual evening at his place. On his own turf, he will feel more in control and at ease. Another possible location is in the showers at a quiet health club. The showers offer a natural opportunity for nakedness, and casual talk about sex coupled with the lathering of the genitals can go quite far. There are several special words and phrases that can put the man at ease and open him up to fucking around with you. Casually asking him if he ever "let off some steam" with his buddies is a good way to begin. Be sure to say "let off some steam," because that sounds positive, simple, natural, and temporary. "Letting off steam" has the subliminal meaning of simply happening in times of emergency and does not imply a permanent lifestyle. Never say "Did you ever fool around with your buddies," because the word "fool" may subliminally tell the man that he's be a fool to do such a thing. Then tell the man about the buddies you used to "hang with" (the word "hang" brings obvious subliminal images to mind). Tell him that none of your buddies had girlfriends with enough stamina to keep those cocks satisfied. By referring to "those cocks," you make the sexuality less personal. Every man knows that his cock has a mind of its own. By talking about "those cocks," you are subliminally saying that letting off steam with another guy is strictly business between the two cocks. Tell the man that you and your buddies used to rent porno videos and would stroke those cocks for hours. It's always good to mention porno videos, because the video is something comfortable to focus on. In other words, it implies that you and the man would be getting off to the video, which is safe and natural. The video does not demand that your buddy be turned on by you personally. You might also tell the man that none of your buddies had girlfriends who would suck off those cocks, either. You don't need to spell out the fact that your buddies sucked each other's cocks--that meaning is implied and is left to the man to visually imagine. A great many straight men do not receive oral sex from their wives or girlfriends. If they are in a comfortable situation with a male friend, they are generally quite open to the idea of getting their cock sucked because the supreme pleasure of the act takes precedence over any hang-ups about homosexuality. For several more hot tips on getting intimate with a straight buddy, see my archive.