Dear Bearded Confidant,

I'm quite anxious about an upcoming situation.  First, about myself. SWM, 42, homosexualist, never done it with a woman, handsome, engaging, straight 'acting'/appearing.

I was out of town alone several months ago and got an impromptu invitation to a XMAS party of people who are in my line of work.  I didn't know anybody there.  A guy (swm, 39) comes in with his girlfriend and we start talking.  We hit it off big time, just like old buddies, and largely ignore everyone else and spend the evening engaging eachother and drinking tequilla straights.  We are both charmed and I sense a mutual 'crush.'  At one point he tells me, making sure his girlfriend doesn't hear, that he'd like to take a long road trip with another guy who's there, younger and handsome,  also with a girl.  We agree to stay in touch.  He does.  We talk over the phone (I'm in another state out west) about a get together.  He says we could meet in S.F. and he'd take his girlfriend, as he hadn't taken her anywhere for a long time.  We agree to get back in touch to talk about it.  When we do, I say "it would be nice to see Yvonne, but maybe you should take her somewhere yourself, and we could get together and pal around on our own."  He seemed glad to hear me say that, and I suggested a backpacking trip for 3 days, 2 nights.  I think I heard some excitement in his cool, layed back voice.  He agrees.  We're on.  So, next month I'll spend 3 days and 2 nights in the back country with a guy I barely know.  We'll sleep side-by-side in a small tent and spend the first night in a motel room.  He knows I'm single and I've never talked about women.  He doesn't ask either. In one phone conversation, he mentioned that on a vacation he could have 'had it all night' with a woman putting the make on him.  He also said that he 'always' travels alone.

Here's the quandry.  If I tell him early on that my experience is only with guys, I fear he'll feel alienated.  I'd like to be able to talk about it in a way that will facilitate, rather than impede, an intimate 'buddy bond.'  I suspect that we'll at least beat off together at some point.  He seems the type who'll like to talk dirty and get horny.  BTW, he mentioned a 'next trip' if this one 'goes OK.' He's a partier too, and we'll have a few nips of whiskey or something by the fire before crashing.  I'm good at telling hot erotic stories, and I've considered 'fabricating' a str8 or even bisexual one if talk goes to sex while were crashed out in the tent.  If I lead him to believe that I'm experienced with women in order to be more intimate with him, would I be compromising my integrity?  Maybe he wants to think I'm a 'switch hitter' and has me in mind for a 'special buddy' who he gets together with once or twice a year to satisfy his M2M thing.

The main thing is that I don't want to be a few hours into a 3 day one-on-one trip and end up with bad vibes.  What do you think?

Dear Mike,

This guy does indeed sound eager to spend some quality man-to-man time with you. However, your instinct toward caution is well-founded. Just because he is craving some manly companionship doesn't mean that he necessarily thinks of himself as bisexual, and there's no reason for you to press the issue and potentially ruin the vacation. My advice is to play it cool, as you have been doing. The trip will no doubt offer dozens of opportunities for some intimate masculine closeness, so seize every chance to act casually and comfortably around him. For example, while hiking you could suggest a good place for the two of you to stand together, whip out your dicks, and take a piss. At bedtime, set an example by casually stripping off your clothes first. Do it in front of your buddy, but don't look right at him while you do it lest he be put off. Start by removing your shoes and socks, then pants and underwear, and then slowly peel your shirt over your head to offer him the chance to sneak a good hard look at your body. You are probably correct that the two of you will naturally come around to beating off together at some point. A little erotic storytelling by the fire is a great idea, especially since the man has already confided some sexy details to you in the past. Try fabricating a str8 story with a few bisexual twists and turns along the way. Making up stories won't be compromising your integrity in any way. Sex is supposed to be imaginative and fun, and the purpose of your story is to turn your buddy on, so why not tailor the action appropriately? If your friend listens to the story but doesn't seem comfortable jerking off in front of you, take the lead by slowly and carefully pulling your own cock out and stroking off in an inconspicuous manner. Don't worry--there's no way he'll miss what you're doing, and he may well be inspired to join you at that point. Of course, you also may not have to beat around the bush at all. Maybe by the third day, the combination of the fresh country air, your three days' growth of beard stubble, and your musky sweat scent will drive him over the edge and he'll tackle you to the ground without you having to ask. Maybe he'll rip off your pants so he can hump his raging hardon across your hairy thighs while he grabs your scratchy face to pry open your mouth, shoving his tongue deep down your throat and drooling into your mouth as he fucks his studcream all over your own throbbing cock. More unlikely things have happened, buddy!