Dear Bearded Confidant,

My partner and I have been together for 9 months.  I have been sexually active for, gosh, as long as I can remember, but he's a bit of a newbie.  We're both in our mid-30s.  I have always been a Top in my previous relationships, but as I'm growing older and the fact that he has fucking gorgeous 9" cock, I've been finding myself more willing to try riding the balony pony.  Using your advice, I've managed to take take that monster right to the pubes.  I really enjoy unconventional sexual places, and found that our swimming pool in the back yard offers the best boyancy for me to balance and work his cock into my hole.  My own cock never wavers from rock hard.  The problem I have is with lubrication.  Most lubes dissolve quickly, and I find vaseline a little too thick once it hits the cool water, and using my own cum as lube only works for a while if I remember to catch it in time.  Though we're still able to pop mega-healthy loads, after a few minutes into a good pool fucking I feel like he's pulling my hole apart, and I have to let go of him.  Any suggestions?

Dear Merman,

Getting fucked in the pool can indeed be a thrilling experience, especially when you man is equipped with a 9 inch flotation device! But you raise an interesting point that one's fuck lube tends to wash away in the water. I never recommend Vaseline or other petroleum-based products as lubricants because vegetable-based oils are more nourishing to your skin. Also, as you discovered, Vaseline tends to thicken when it gets cold. After careful consideration, I've come up with two possible solutions.

(1) Before you decide to surf on your man's board, insert several glycerin suppositories up your ass. Then lube up as you normally do. The suppositories will have a sort of "timed-release" action, keeping your ass nice and moist from the inside, reducing your need for other lubes to keep your slick while you get pounded. Because they will be lubricating you from deep inside your ass, not as much of the slickness will get washed away by your man's plunger.

(2) Many men look for ways to stay lubed for long periods of time because they don't want to interrupt the stud who's slamming them. Some of these guys recommend inserting an entire tube of vegetable-based lip balm into your ass. Because the tube is nice and hard, it's easy to push deep inside you, and then it slowly melts as your body heat warms it. I cannot personally vouch for either the lip balm or glycerine suppository methods, but they are something to consider. Enjoy your next swim, and keep working on that back stroke!