Dear Bearded Confidant,

How do you make cum taste more appealing?  Could what a person eats make a difference?

Dear Duane,

From "Riding Hard" (Falcon) More from this set »

Yes, a man's diet most certainly affects the flavor of his cream. In general, acidic foods, such as sweets, succulent fruits, and naturally-brewed alcohol, give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary flavor. Pineapples and bananas have a particularly good effect, as do celery, fresh parsley, wheatgrass (fresh or juiced), cardamom, peppermint, and cinnamon. One simple key is to drink a lot of water throughout the day, in order to flush out toxins. There are several foods to avoid if you wish to improve your cum-flavor. Foremost, cut out meat from your diet; it's universally acknowledged that vegetarians have the best-tasting jizz. Certain vegetables ensure a bad-tasting semen: cabbage, asparagus, garlic, broccoli, onions, and cauliflower are all notorious for spoiling your cream. Coffee should be avoided, too. If you wish for a salty flavor to your cum, eat more dairy. Note that it'll take about a day for your improved diet to have a noticeable affect.

I've never shared my own secret recipe with anyone, but as you sound like a fine fellow, here goes:

Sweeter-Cum Shake
  • 1 frozen banana (peel it first, then slice it up, then pop it in the freezer)
  • 8 ounces pineapple juice (I use crushed pineapple)
  • 1 shot (1 1/2 ounces) Irish Cream (or Crème de cacao or Crème de coconut)
  • 1 tablespoon raw honey
  • 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 cup chipped ice
Blend all ingredients until smooth, adding the ice chips at the very end. Pour into a glass and garnish with a parsley leaf.