“Self Esteem and Relationship Fears”
Dear Bearded Confidant,
I am a 34 year old latin gay man. For over twelve years I have been in and out of the closet for various reasons ranging from family to work. I was in a relationship for several years, and even though I loved my man I had to leave him in order to find peace outside my country away from my family. I am now living alone and afraid of going after one-timers. I have a leg amputation that does not show, and I am afraid to even talk about it for fear of rejection. I am going out of my mind just trying to figure out what to do. Any advice on this matter will be highly appreciated.
I think you need to start changing the way you define certain things. First of all, you signed your letter "Handycap." Why worry about other men's reactions to your leg amputation when you are already labeling yourself? You are actually a perfect person, but other people won't know that until you believe it about yourself first. Don't define yourself according to physical features. Don't allow fear to rule your life. If you had to leave your last relationship in order to find inner peace, that was a brave and difficult decision, and you should applaud yourself for taking such a positive move. Keep building upon that strength within you. Use this time alone to redefine exactly what you are looking for in a man and in a relationship. Spend some time thinking about all the positive things you have to offer. You are correct not to go after one-timers, because you shouldn't sell yourself short. The right man for you is out there—you just need to take your time and find him. The only people who should be fearful are the men who do not measure up to your high standards, for they will never have the opportunity to share their lives with you.