Dear Bearded Confidant,

I have a strange problem.  My Boyfriend and I both live apart from each other.  I trust him with all of my heart and he trusts me.  I know that he would never mess around on me.  I don't fear this with him at all, but I don't really trust myself.  I have needs and there are times when jacking myself off only does so much for me.  I have to wait 2 months till I can be with him.  I don't know if I can hold out for that long.  I know that I could go out and get some sex, and not tell him.  But I would know and would end up telling him in the end.  What am I going to do?

Dear Horny,

Sometimes a man feels so horny that he thinks he will go out of his mind. But if that man is in a relationship and his partner is away, he needs to calm that horniness through excessive masturbation or meditation.  If you can't trust yourself not to cheat on your man, you should re-evaluate the importance of this relationship.  If you love him and want to keep him, you had better keep your balls dry and your mind focused on doing the right thing.  Your urges to go out and get laid are perfectly natural, but you might consider saving up that energy and fucking your man's brains out when you get reunited.