“Recovering From Sexual Harassment”
Dear Bearded Confidant,
I love both men and women. I was 14 when I first discovered that I liked men. Over the years I have grown to love my sexual orientation, but a few days ago this guy at my school sexually harassed me. Since then I've been questioning my sexuality. I have always loved men so much, but now I think I'm going straight, and ironically I don't want to. I want to be gay but now whenever I would look at gay porn I feel very awkward. What should I do? Could you please help me?
A negative sexual experience can be a real downer, and it is no wonder that your feelings for men have been affected by your harassment. I doubt that your primary sexual orientation will be affected in the long run, however. In the course of your lifetime you will come across a lot of bad people, and some of those bad people may even make their way into your bed now and then. One bad sexual experience can be terrible, but that doesn't mean that sex itself is terrible. I would take some time away from pornography for a while. Allow your thoughts and feelings to settle down. You might find value in talking to a counselor. When you get horny again, enjoy fine images of beautiful men and remember that you are okay and so are a lot of other guys out there. The harassers of the world can go fuck themselves.