Dear Bearded Confidant,

As a kid I wet the bed at night until my teens, although less frequent now, I still have occasional night time accidents (especially after too many beers).  I've had a couple of relationships with guys who have generally been accepting and not made too much of a fuss, although it isn't something I really talk a lot about.  I have been with my current bf a couple of years now, we generally get on well and have a healthy sex life and talk openly about most things.  My problem is opening up about the bed wetting, if it happens I clean it up the next day and it never really gets discussed after that.  When sleeping alone I have started to wear adult diapers (and quite enjoy it) I haven't been able to talk to my bf about this and feel unable to bring it up.  Is the bed wetting and liking for diapers normal?  And how do I raise this with my bf without turning him off completely?

Dear Jason,

Getting turned on by wearing diapers is a fetish that traces back in time to the very invention of diapers.  Though bed-wetting and diaper fetishes aren't for everybody, no one fetish is for everybody.  When guys feel shame about wearing diapers, it's typically rooted in the association of diapers with immaturity.  If one follows that line of logic, sucking a dick for man-milk is babyish, too.  No -- it's best to dismiss any conceptions of which sex acts are "grown-up" enough.

One night in bed, after you and your boyfriend have consumed plenty of beverages, casually wonder aloud if you'll have another one of those full-bladder dreams about needing to take a piss and then finding a urinal in dreamland and pissing so long and hard in the dream that you start doing it for real.  This happens to guys all the time, and there's absolutely no shame in it.  Find out if your boyfriend doesn't mind you accidentally wetting the bed.  If he does, you can suggest a great, clean alternative -- wearing a diaper.  You might add that he could help you put it on and take it off -- why not make everything in life as fun and sexy as one can?  As he gets used to the idea of diapers in bed, you can increase the eroticism of it all.  You can eventually suggest that he bring a tall glass of water to the bedside table, to help ensure that you'll wet yourself.  Remember that people support what they help create.

There's a lot of fun you can have with this.  And if your boyfriend just can't get into it, you'll need to ask yourself whether you can dismiss this part of your erotic life or whether you might look around for another guy who will not only understand but actively celebrate and explore this fetish with you.