Dear Bearded Confidant,

I have a delicate problem that I thought you could help me with. The thing is I am really obsessed with cum... I love to have a guy shoot his load in my face, I like to taste his orgasm. I want it in my mouth, on my tongue, dripping down my chin... you know. I'm in a serious relationship with this guy who is like the love of my life and the sex is great. But he has all kinds of hangups, the worst of which is that he doesn't like cum.  I like it when he's on top of me and I'm fucking him from underneath because he always cums buckets (and it tastes sooooo good) and that way I get the cum all over me and can sort of sneak it into my mouth.  But as soon as he shoots off he jumps into the shower.  I've tried to make him cum in my face, and he agreed a couple of times, but I could tell he thought I was reallly weird when I took it in my mouth.  He says he thinks it's really gross. It's kind of frustrating. How can I persuade him that him cumming in my mouth is really sexy and, for that matter, really an act of love from my point of view?

Dear Parched,

You are not asking your lover to eat your jizz, but merely to aim his cock toward your tongue. If he can't even do that for you, what other disappointments lie ahead in your relationship? Understandably, you want to convince your lover that eating his orgasm can be sexy. But you cannot argue a man out of something that he hasn't been argued into in the first place. If your lover has hangups about cum, you probably won't be able to make him change his mind because his issues have very deep psychological roots. For example, he may harbor childhood feelings of guilt about sexual gratification. The bottom line is, will he cream in your mouth because YOU are into that, even if he isn't into it personally? A good lover will strive to please his partner no matter what. Otherwise he is a selfish lover, and you could definitely do better. Your desire for the masculine essence is NOT weird or gross, and plenty of other guys will appreciate your love for their essence. Cum isn't just an act of love; it is the actual outpouring of love itself! It is the culmination of one man's desire for another, and it seals the bond between lovers. It should be shared and cherished, for it is truly precious. I hope your man can realize this on his own, but otherwise I wish you luck in finding a more suitable parnter.