Dear Bearded Confidant,

How can I help my boyfriend piss during sex?  I'm sure you can help me on this one.  We both enjoy watching w/s porn and are turned on by pissing.  The problem is that when he gets turned on he finds it really hard to piss!  We usual do piss play after drinking lots of beer, I can piss lots anyway and can do it wherever and no matter who's watching, he however seems a little more shy.  Often I have to wait until he has cum before I can have any of his piss, but I enjoy it more before the sex has finished!

Dear Mark,

Your boyfriend's "pee shyness," technically Paruresis, is a common enough problem even for piss sex enthusiasts.  It all seems closely tied to relaxation, and the reason it's easier for your guy to piss after ejaculating is that his orgasm relaxes his muscles and sphincters.  Breath-holding is a popular technique for reducing mental and physical anxieties so as to start the flow of piss.  (Presumably, holding the breath increases carbon dioxide in the bloodstream and triggers a relaxation response.)  The International Paruresis Association recommends that pee-shy guys practice holding their breath for 10 seconds, then for 15 seconds, slowly working up to 45-second intervals.  Upon exhaling, pee-shy guys shouldn't empty their lungs completely but rather should leave some air.  Your Bearded Confidant often experiences pee-shyness during sex, partially due to "performance anxiety" and partially due to the erection dissuading urination, but taking some moments for breath holding has been 100% effective.  Good luck, Mark, and may you enjoy your lover's piss without reservation!