Dear Bearded Confidant,

It has always been a fantasy of mine to have sex outside, especially the beach, but anywhere outside would really turn me on.  I want to do this, but am always afraid of getting caught.  Do you have any suggestions?

Dear Adventurous,

To express your masculine nature in the great outdoors is an incredibly beautiful experience.  But unless you are on private property or very, very secluded, there will always be the danger of getting caught.  In many communities, public nudity and acts of sex are against the law, so the element of risk is always present.  A lot of guys get off on the dangerousness of outdoor sex.  But if danger doesn't turn you on, you'll need to find a friend with a piece of private and secluded property.  Gay nudist resorts are another option, as they are places where men can frolic about nakedly with no hassles.  I have a friend who always jerks himself off while wading waist-deep in the ocean.  The waterline helps to hide what he's doing, but he still gets the thrill of outdoor sex.  Masturbating underwater takes practice for many men, however.  The sensations are totally different, and cold water dampens the libido of many men.