Dear Bearded Confidant,

Is there a way to constantly keep my nipples hard?  It seems like whenever I see guys without their shirts on, whether in pictures or out in public, they always have hard nipples.  Mine only get hard when I am aroused or when it is cold.  I have seen the nipple vacuum pumps, but I don't want my nipples sticking out really far, I just want them to be hard.  Any suggestions?

Dear Concerned,

Some men's nipples just naturally stick out, just as some men's belly buttons do.  Their nipples protrude even when they are not sexually aroused.  To my knowledge, there's no way to keep your nipples hard constantly unless it is cold outside or unless they are stimulated by touch or sexual arousal.  I don't recommend stretching your nipples with vacuum pumps because they will become flabby when not aroused.