Dear Bearded Confidant,

Would you answer a girl's question, please?  I'm a lesbian who loves beautiful women.  My problem is that nothing gets me off like watching two guys sucking and fucking.  I enjoy eating my girl, but it's kind of old news now.  Am I a pervert or is this common among homos?

Dear Anonymous,

The sight of two men fucking each other's brains out is a beautiful thing, and it's no wonder you find it hot to look at.  Just because looking at something gets us off doesn't mean we necessarily want to do it ourselves.  Just because you like seeing one man take another's cock in his mouth doesn't mean you necessarily want to eat dick, but watching the act could still make you cum.  I know many gay men who enjoy watching straight porn and lesbian porn as well as gay porn, because they like to look at beautiful bodies in heat.  If you have a fetish for horny gay boys, don't bother to intellectualize it.  Fetishes rarely make sense. If your girlfriend doesn't like to watch homo porn with you, she can't stop you from fantasizing.  The next time you go down on your girlfriend, just think of two sets of hairy balls banging against each other as two studs fuck like wild dogs.  Your girlfriend will probably have the best orgasm of her life!