Dear Bearded Confidant,

I love to jerk off, but when I cum it dribbles down the side.  What can I do to make my cum shoot?

Dear Wanker,

There are several proven ways to increase the amount and shooting distance of your cumload.  Practice bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then stop stroking at the last moment.  When your excitement level goes down a bit, start stroking again.  Start and stop like this at least four times and you'll have a bigger load of semen that will shoot harder.  When you are about to come and you want to shoot farther, use the thumb and index finger of your free hand to open up the slit of your dick.

Also, while masturbating try stimulating your prostate (either by inserting a finger or other object up your ass or by massaging the area between your balls and anus).  Continue stimulating your prostate as your shoot.  Your orgasm will be much more intense.

The following tip requires caution.  To really heat up your cock and balls, stand over a space heater (those little room warmers that sit on the floor) while you stroke off.  Feel how stimulated your cock and balls become as they absorb the heat rising through the air.  Your orgasm will be more powerful and your cum will be hotter.  It goes without saying that you must take care not to burn yourself along the way!