Dear Bearded Confidant,

For almost a year I've been in a sexual relationship with an older man. Things are still great, but lately there has been one issue in that it's become more difficult for him to cum. He still gets hard, and he still has an amazing sex drive, but sometimes he just doesn't orgasm. He says it's perfectly natural, just something that occurs at his age, but I'm still a bit bothered by it. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to approach this. Like...any positions or tricks I could use to take him him over the edge, because I've just about gone through everything I can think of. It's just that the sex is still fantastic for me, and he says he's enjoying things too, but I'd still like to make him cum again.

Dear 21,

Some guys induce "electrogasms" with special erotic massagers (like this one, that is positioned on the anus) or electrosex prostate stimulators (like this one, that can be inserted nine inches up the ass).  Sex toys aside, you and your partner are in an amazing situation, even if it doesn't seem like that at first glance.  You can use his ejaculatory shyness to propel your physical relationship into the stratosphere.  The key is not to get hung up on ejaculations but rather to focus on orgasms.  Don't forget that orgasm and ejaculation are wholly different, even if they usually occur simultaneously.  Sure, ejaculations are totally marvelous, and given my obession with cum, I'd be the last person to ever put them down, but they do come at a price of flooding the body with hormones that say "Mission accomplished" and thereby reduce the sex drive.  But your lover and you, too, can practice pleasuring each other into multiple full body orgasms without ejaculation.  Unless your lover has a physical ailment that prevents ejaculation from occurring, I suggest here and now that if you give him enough multiple orgasms he'll eventually shoot his wad as well.  There are many books on the market on how men can experience multiple orgasms (like this one, to name but one example), but for starters simply fuck as you normally do but don't allow yourself to reach the point of return.  Just peak and then slow down until your ejaculatory response relaxes, then pick up the pace until you peak again, and keep repeating that rhythm.  Each time you relax, your partner will be stimulating other parts of your body (anywhere and everywhere except your cock).  I've previously talked about inducing full-body orgasms here, if you're interested.  To sum up, getting your partner to cum is absolutely a worthy goal.  Consider enjoying longer, more orgasmic sessions with him on your way toward the liquid reward.