Dear Bearded Confidant,

Thanks for the great advice you offer on your site. It's thorough, frank, and well-informed. Could you please enlighten me a bit on anal orgasms? When I first heard the term, I thought it meant ejaculating just from getting fucked. I've come to understand, however, that some men experience orgasmic contractions (or something) in their rectum, independent of ejaculation.  Could you tell me what it's all about ... and, of course, about the likelihood of experiencing one myself?

Dear Looking,

Yes, it is true that men can experience anal orgasms independent of ejaculation. Orgasm and ejaculation are actually two totally separate phenomena that usually happen at the same time. Have you ever jerked off and shot your wad but didn't feel euphoric? A man can ejaculate and not experience the pleasurable sensations of orgasm. Likewise, a man can experience an orgasm without pumping any semen, and even without having an erection. This often happens during anal sex. Your prostate, the base of your cock, and your anal sphincter get stimulated by the man butt-fucking you. This stimulation may bring you to experience an orgasm and/or ejaculation. Many men lose their erections while their asses are getting pounded, yet they still experience an orgasm due to the inner stimulation. The feelings or euphoria and orgasmic contractions are often more intense during anal sex because of how you are being stimulated. When your prostate and anal sphincter contract, they are doing so against that hard cock shoved inside you, so the feeling is more intense. Additionally, the pleasurable feelings of the anal orgasm tend to shoot up the base of your spine to your head.

You can have this experience without getting butt-fucked by masturbating using a technique perfected in Asia. Instead of working the sensitive tip of your cock with your hand, stroke only the base of your cock and use your other hand to rub between your balls and anus. When you cum, your sexual energy will flow in the other direction, shooting up your spine instead of out the tip of your cock. You'll most likely still ejaculate in the usual way, but the feelings of orgasm will travel through your body differently.

The likelihood that you will experience an anal orgasm depends on three main factors: how relaxed you are, how much you genuinely enjoy getting fucked, and how often you get fucked (i.e., the more the better). Just as not every handjob leads to ejaculation or orgasm, not every butt-fuck will, either. The best way to insure an anal orgasm is to avoid jerking off while your man fucks your ass. Don't touch your cock at all, and try to position yourself so that your man's body doesn't rub against your dick either. Allow yourself to feel all of the sexual stimulation on your inner organs instead of your outer organs. This takes a lot of getting used to for most men, since they are accustomed to sexplay involving the penis and balls. Once you are comfortable having orgasms only from the stimulation of getting fucked, try stroking off while your man plows your ass. The double orgasm (both anal and penile) will blow your mind.