Dear Bearded Confidant,

I always enjoy your blog posts relating to armpits—the sexiest part of a man's body, in my opinion.  I always sniff my pits while I get myself off.  In the past you have talked about a particular sort of orgasm triggered by breathing musk.  Would you be so kind as to refresh my memory?  I'd like to take my pit sex to the next level.

Dear Muskrat,

If you consider yourself worldly wise, you may be able to experience a Musk High Orgasm without passing out. There are two preparatory phases you should master before you attempt the advanced technique with a manfriend. I'll explain all three and will look forward to hearing about your adventures.

The first preparatory phase:
To experience a musk high, you must profoundly suffuse yourself with masculine pheromones as you jack off. Don't shower in the morning so as to keep your armpits especially ripe for a jack off session later in the evening.

As you stroke your cock, lift one arm and deeply inhale your musk for a full count of four seconds. Hold the musk in your lungs for another count of four. Then slowly exhale for a count of four. Feel free to time your breathing to the regular strokes of your cock. With this technique, you'll imbue your entire body with musk — the masculine pheromones will permeate your lungs and thereby enter your bloodstream. Indeed, whiffing the sweaty chemical androstadienone (a metabolite of testosterone) speeds up the heart rate as well as breathing and blood pressure of homosexual men. It activates the lusty hypothalamic region of the brain. It's also a stress reducer and elevates mood significantly. When you feel yourself reaching the point of no return, slow your strokes to delay your orgasm and lift your other arm to offer a fresh source of musk.

This will dramatically accelerate your sexual desire, so remember that by consciously controlling the speed of your breathing, you'll prevent yourself from hyperventilating. As you reach the pinnacle of your musk high, allow yourself to reach the point of no return and experience the musk high orgasm. Resist the impulse to hold your musk-filled breath while you cum, as you may lose consciousness. And, as comedian Russell Brand quips, if you feel yourself floating down a tunnel of light with Jesus at the end of it, you've taken it too far and should slow the fuck down.

The second preparatory phase:
This advanced training takes place in the bathtub. You'll perform as instructed in phase one, with this important addition: piss all over yourself at the start of your session to infuse the air with more pheromones. You may prefer to wear a t-shirt during this session, as the fabric will hold the piss on your torso and offer a stronger cloud of musk below your nose. As this is not a regular piss sex session, do not even consider sucking on the piss-drenched t-shirt while you ejaculate. Keep your full concentration on your breathing so as to fully transfuse yourself with musk. Be aware that the additional pheromones in this session will make for a more powerful experience. It's little wonder that men turn into rampant fuck maniacs in public toilets, intoxicated as they are by the erotically-charged funk of so much piss.

The advanced technique:
When you've learned to handle your musk high, you'll be ready for another man's musk. Just as your body metabolizes different sorts of alcohol in different ways, you'll metabolize another man's musk differently than your own. Needless to say, this sort of musk orgasm will be even more intense. Have your manfriend straddle your face while you jack off, or while he sucks you off. The positioning is crucial — you'll want your nose between his balls and his thigh, but not buried so deeply that you can't breathe.

Inhale, hold, and exhale the musk of his crotch as explained in the preparatory sessions. Approximately midway through your encounter, move your nose to the other side of his ballsac for a more powerful burst of pheromones. After you cum and are ready for a second round, ask your manfriend to piss all over your chest. Rub some of his piss around his balls and in his armpits. Begin your encore session by deeply inhaling, holding, and exhaling the piss-infused sweat musk of his armpits. Then nestle your face in his crotch and go for your second musk high orgasm.