Dear Bearded Confidant,

I read your Q/A on sucking your own penis, and I've been trying them for over a month. I am now at the point where I can successfully suck 3/4 of my head. I am positive that I can get more into my mouth if I could position myself right. When I am fully stretched on my back, I can get the base of my penis past my mouth, but when I try to put it in, the angle is not correct. Is there a different position I can try so that I can get more dick into my mouth?

Dear Hungry,

Not that it is any consolation, but getting most of your cockhead into your mouth is far more than most men can accomplish, and at least you can shoot off directly into your own mouth. Feeling jizz squirt in your mouth at exactly the same moment you cum is a unique and wonderful experience. Not only does it make most men pump harder, but mancream tends to taste even better during orgasm (your tongue apparently benefits from the happy chemicals your body is generating). Since you are otherwise quite limber, it sounds as if the issue has to do with the angle of your erect penis. If your cock were angled differently, it would probably slide right into your mouth and to the back of your throat. Unfortunately I don't know of a solution, as your cock angle is "hardwired." In other words, I don't know of a safe way to change the angle of your erection. However, if I come across any useful advice, I will let you know.