Dear Bearded Confidant,

My hungry ass is insatiable.  How can I fulfill my anal desires and do something for the betterment of humanity at the same time?

Dear Butt-slut,

I know a fireman who found his own unique solution to a similar problem.  He volunteered as a guinea pig at his local medical college and ended up bent over a table with his pants down as no fewer than 300 medical students practiced giving a prostate exam.  Each student lubed up his ass and probed with a finger.  The volunteer had to tell each of them if and when they reached his prostate.  He admits that he sometimes lied and said "Keep trying" when a particularly sexy medical student was finger-fucking him.  By the end of the day, the volunteer was one worn-out piece... all in the name of medical science!