Dear Bearded Confidant,

When I masturbate I like to lie on my back and cum all over my chest and belly, just like many of the cum shots avilable on the net.  When I've spoken to some of my friends, though, I find that many of them prefer other ways that don't make a mess.  I'm now wondering how common my way is and if it's normal or a fetish.  I don't propose to change what I do either way, I'm just curious.

Dear Steve,

Interestingly, jerking off feels different depending upon what position your body is in.  This fact gives a man a great deal of sensual variety in his solo endeavors.  If you ever jerk off while standing up, you've probably noticed that your knees get all wobbly and your thigh muscles get tight in ways that never happens when you masturbate lying down.  If you sit on the sofa while playing with yourself, it feels different whether your feet are on the floor or flung over the back of the sofa.  It all depends upon blood flow and center of gravity.  Lying on your back is one of the most relaxed ways to jerk off, as the only muscles that have to work hard are in one hand, wrist, and arm.  From the men I have talked to, lying on your back is the most popular way to masturbate.  Most men jerk off in bed before going to sleep.  Of those, some hump a pillow in a simulated fuck position, but most shoot all over their bellies and chests and then simply wipe up with a t-shirt or designated cumrag.  The men who primarily jerk off while standing or sitting tend to do so in the only private space they can find—the bathroom.  They either stand at the sink (so as to look at their own bodies in the mirror) or jerk off in the shower, and some sit on the toilet seat when their knees start feeling weak.  Few men I talked to seemed to worry about making a mess.  They either enjoyed the feeling of their ejaculation on their skin or just thought of it as a quick wipe up.  However, men with hairy torsos admit to having more trouble getting the jizz off than their brothers with smooth torsos.  Men who masturbate in all different ways tend to agree that standing up is the most powerful "physical" orgasm in terms of every muscle in the body tensing up and then relaxing.  Jerk off sessions in the shower tend to be the quickest, as the steam heats up the body, the wetness speeds the strokes, and large areas of the body are simultaneously stimulated by the water.  Masturbation while sitting tends to be the most erotically pleasurable (which I suspect may be tied to the fact that men may be looking at porno magazines or videos while sitting).  And as I mentioned earlier, jerking off while lying down tends to yield the most relaxing orgasm.