Dear Bearded Confidant,

My erections stand up too straight.  I can't get it below 90 degrees to do doggie style!  Any suggestions? 

Dear Flagpole,

A great many men with floppy dicks would love to trade cocks with you.  The fact of the matter is that a super rigid cock is best for fucking, and it is the most erotically sensitive.  However, when a cock stands up too straight, it can make some positions difficult, especially deep throat sucking and doggie style fucking.  The problem you are experiencing can't be solved by stretching your cock down.  That's because your shaft doesn't begin outside your body, but rather deep inside your body.  When you are hard, you can easily feel your internal shaft between your balls and anus.  Forcing the outside portion of your cock down can result in severe damage.  The sad fact of the matter is that not all sexual positions are possible for all men.  My only recommendation is to initiate certain positions before you are totally hard and see how long you can enjoy them without discomfort.  When your cock is forced downward as it gets hard, the blood flow is somewhat cut off and it usually won't get totally rigid until it is released.