“Desire to Flee After Achieving Orgasm”
Dear Bearded Confidant,
I have just recently started trying different things with guys and actually realizing my sexuality. Unfortunately, the sex and everything is great but after I ejaculate I get the overwhelming rush of emotion to leave. I don't know if it is because I was raised in such a homophobic household or what, but it definitely ruins the mood.
Dear Cum -n- Run,
What you are describing is actually very common in men. After the tremendous energetic release of orgasm, a man's horniness quickly dies down. As far as the physical body is concerned, all of the sexual urgency you felt before orgasm has been fulfilled upon ejaculation. Add to that some possible feelings of sexual guilt that may enter your mind in the aftermath of sex. Most of us grow up being taught by our stuck-up society that sex is somehow shameful. Once the thrill of sexual union has passed you might feel guilty about enjoying yourself so much, not to mention the possible homophobic stigma of having enjoyed yourself with another man. It is time for you to do some soul searching. There will always be homophobes out there somewhere, but the most important thing is for you to love yourself as you are. Start off by reminding yourself that there is no such thing as a homosexual or heterosexual *person*. There are only homosexual or heterosexual acts. Drop all the labels that society loves to impose on people. You are too complex a man to be so easily categorized. Okay, so you enjoy homosexual acts. You are attracted to and turned on by masculinity. There is nothing unnatural about that. Such masculine attractions have been going on since the dawn of time, and they are occuring far more often and among far more people than anyone is willing to admit. So start working to dispel your inner shame and guilt. Enjoy your attractions and experiences with other men! Intimate bonds of brotherhood are incredibly powerful and valuable. And if you feel like rolling over and falling asleep after you cum, enjoy that as well. But if you feel the need to run, look within yourself and get to the root of the psychological problem. You may need assistance with that inner work, and I recommend that you visit a therapist for that. It will be an investment in yourself.