Dear Bearded Confidant,

I am horny and ready to jackoff several times a day and find myself searching the internet with one hand in my thong.  I'd put one finger up my ass if i didn't need it to control the mouse. Am I sick trying to satisfy my need to cum over the internet?  I am married and do not want to fuck with another dick for fear my old lady would find out and dump me. I have a job that I do from home so I spend hours trying to shoot my load while on the internet.

Dear Cup Full,

Via the internet, men from all over the world are able to share their sexual passions with each other in ways that were never dreamed of just a few years ago.  When you log on to get off, it is actually not a solo activity.  Thousands upon thousands of men like yourself are jacking off to the same pictures in one giant virtual orgy.  At the moment you shoot, gallons and gallons of hot jizz are being squirted simultaneously across the globe.  There's clearly nothing "sick" about looking at hot pictures and stroking your cock.  Nor is there anything wrong with a married man looking at pics of other guys.  The fact of the matter is that all young men grow up handling their own cocks and getting turned on by their own bodies, so it's no wonder that the sight of a hard dick is a turn-on. And when you see another guy working his equipment, you know exactly how he feels because you're wired the same way.  You should actually spend even more time searching the internet for mansex.  If you don't keep your balls empty, your fucklust will drive you out of your mind and no doubt ruin your relationship as well.  It would take a lifetime of cruising dark alleyways and bathhouses to get to see as many gorgeous men as you could come across in one evening on the internet, plus you avoid several physical and health risks. 

The main problem, as you discovered, is handling the mouse and your own masculine hardware at the same time.  For starters, a butt-plug is a terrific "hands-free" way to keep that hot ass occupied.  You should also lay a piece of plastic wrap over the keyboard so that you can stay well-lubed and still navigate without mess.  I recommend an oil-based lubricant, such as sesame or mustard oil.  Those two oils have warming properties, which stimulate and encourage blood flow to your genitals, plus oils don't dry out and become sticky like water-based lubes do.