Dear Bearded Confidant,

I am 45 and have been married to my second wife seven years and we have been together 13 years. Her interests in sex where much broader then my former wife. I masturbated quite often in my first marriage but my wife never knew. It was a taboo subject that I was ashamed of. All that has changed, there is no subject on sex that is taboo. And masturbation is now a part of or sex life. Over the last couple of years my sex drive has heightened considerately and hers has slowed. Then she reminded me how satisfying it is to get naked while watching a porn and pleasuring yourself any way you desire. That was all I needed to hear. The more I did this the kinkier I have become. It started out as a quick way to take care of the urge. But now I play for hours. I tried some anal play and now I crave it. I have become obsessed with my cock and am now watching gay porno almost every day. I fantasize daily about sucking someone's cock. It's such a turn on to me that I finally got the nerve to shoot a load in my mouth and it was good.  I swallowed it all and wanted more. I would like to think that I am not gay. I finally told my wife about my obsession with anal play and my desire to suck someone off until they filled my mouth full of cum. And of course she said that its normal to have these fantasizes, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. I told her about eating my cum. She really didn't want to know that but told me anything I do to pleasure myself and I mean anything as long as its solo is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about. I asked her if I could do a one night stand with a man. She said no that it would make her jealous to see me having sex with a man or woman. I told her that if she ever gives me the ok that I will do a man. But not unless she says. So is this normal for some men or am I gay or am I a solo gay?

Dear Sexcrazzed1,

HornyBoy - an auto-fellatio fetish site
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Lots of guys who eat their own cum aren't attracted to other men—they merely celebrate their own masculinity.  They're "gay for themselves," as it were.  It sounds as if your vigorous self-pleasuring has put you in better touch with your masculinity, and that has awakened your interest and appreciation of the male animal.  It's like how a man just getting into body building starts noticing other men's muscles, admiring their physiques, and perhaps even fantasizing about working out together.  Your wife is correct—there's nothing wrong or shameful about you watching gay porn, eating your own cum, or dreaming of taking a man's cock in your mouth.  Since she said that bringing another partner into the bedroom would make her jealous, it's too soon for you to answer your own question about whether you're gay or "solo gay."  In other words, you won't know for sure whether you truly like a cock in your mouth until you try it.  Sometimes our fantasies are better than the real thing, and it could well be that you love the idea of getting face-fucked but that the reality of it would be a turn-off.  For now, enjoy your gay porn!  There's a wide, wide range of acts that men will perform on camera, and I can practically guarantee that you've only scratched the surface of mansex possibilities.  Continue improving your aim and flexibility when you shoot into your own mouth, as these skills will come in handy if and when you finally fool around with a buddy.  Every once in a while, drop another hint to your wife that you're dripping for a dick.  Perhaps one of these days she'll soften up on your needful hardon.