Dear Bearded Confidant,

You give the best advice, so I was hoping that you could help me out.  I work a regular 9-5 job every day of the week.  I have a bit of a commute so I take a bus.  The thing is, there is this really hot guy that always gets on the bus, and I am so attracted to him (I can't even explain it).  We are always on the same bus every morning (which is a great way to start every morning), however, I don't know how to read this guy.  Usually when he gets on the bus, we will usually make eye contact with each other (but I usually wind up looking away — cause I don't want to make it obvious that I am staring at him — not to mention I don't know if he is even into guys) and when I casually glance over at him, I usually find him glancing at me.  The thing is, he is always occupied — either reading the paper or a book and he doesn't always sit near me.  I would love to try to chat with him, but I have a couple of issues: (1) I don't know if he is into me (or guys period), (2) how can I tell if he is into guys, and (3) I catch him looking up from his paper at me, but that might be just because I am staring at him.  I would love to try to strike up a conversation with this guy, but it is not very feasible. (He's always occupied, never sits by me, and the bus is usually crowded — not exactly the best way to pick up a guy.)  I have been thinking of ways to try to make this work but nothing that would seem to work.  I would like to try to get on the bus at his stop, but his stop is way too far from mine and that doesn't seem possible.  I know this might seem very childish, but it I can't stop thinking about this guy.  I want him!!  HELP!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Lonely Commuter,

There are hot men everywhere.  With most of them, we are content to simply gaze upon their beautiful bodies and handsome faces and perhaps fantasize about fucking them or being fucked by them.  We might wonder whether their chests are furry or smooth, how big their cocks get, whether they squirt or dribble, what they would look like the next morning. Occasionally, we run across a feast for the eyes that we also yearn to talk to.  In these cases, there is some sort of chemistry going on that is more than just horniness.  Maybe the man has a sparkling personality, maybe he is a total zero, but a part of us wants to find out.  In these cases, it is very important to make an effort to introduce yourself to the man.  You really have nothing to lose.  You might make a new friend, or he might be indifferent and shrug you off, but it's worth taking that first step because you might lose your chance and regret it later.  In your case, you are asking yourself several questions:

Q: Is this man attracted to you?    A: It doesn't matter.  He could initially think you were cute and then dismiss you as soon as he hears you speak.  He could initially think you were nothing special to look at, and then get really turned on by the way your mind works.  First impressions are not always reliable.  I know lots and lots of happy couples who started out hating each other at first sight.

Q: Is this man into guys period?    A. Again, it doesn't matter.  When the chemistry is right, any two men of any sexual orientations can become good friends, and if they both feel comfortable and safe around each other, they can even become sex partners.  Not all gay men sleep around a lot.  Not all straight men never sleep with other men.  It all depends upon the two individuals

Q. Is this man looking at me on his own, or only because I'm staring at him.    A. The important thing is that he has noticed you.  If you were totally uninteresting or were making him feel uncomfortable, he would be most likely try to avoid eye-contact.

Q. How do I strike up a conversation with this man?    A. He is making it easy for you by always reading a newspaper or book.  Walk up to him and ask him for the latest on a current news item or sports figure.  Or say, "I see you are a bookworm, too. What novel are you reading?"  You have to put yourself on the line just a little.  Again, the worst thing is that the guy will ignore you, or perhaps you'll lose all interest in him once he opens his mouth.  If your opening line is generic, he is not likely to punch you in the face for striking up a conversation.