Dear Bearded Confidant,

I have never seen a question like this on any sex advice page so I am hoping you can help. Your answers are always clear and honest. This one is about a harsh sickness I get after anal sex.  I guess my official sexual status is "versatile." I love being the top, it feels amazing to cum inside my boyfriend. But I also love being the bottom, because he pounds me like no man has ever done. But, due to my problem, I am always the top because I know what happens if I bottom.

Almost every time I have ever been the bottom (with any man), I have had very painful bloating afterwards. On some occasions, I even had horrible diarrhea. I have never heard of someone having this. It is always the same, no matter who my partner is. I have tried different lubricants, different everything...I even get sick from fingering myself. Lately, it has become worse. I become drained from being sick, sitting on the toilet thinking that my insides are going to fall out (sorry to be so graphic).

I can't imagine what is making me react this way. Am I allergic to anal sex? Is it possible for my body to be sooo sensitive that it cannot even bear it?  Sex itself doesn't hurt at all, I can take my man's penis all the way inside me and feel like I'm in Heaven. I haven't had any traumatic problems in my past with sex, so I can't imagine it being psychological.

Can you please offer some advice to preventing this sickness? I want to enjoy hardcore anal sex the same way all gay men seem to.

Dear Alleged Allergic,

I am familiar with your condition. It is rare, but not unheard of, for a man to be "allergic" to anal sex. Most men with this problem only have symptoms when they fuck without a condom, which points to a physical reaction to semen. In your case, since even finger-fucking makes you ill, the root of the problem is very likely to be psychological. Psychology plays a major role in *all* sexual activity. Unless a man is unconscious while he gets fucked, the mind is his biggest sex organ. You already ruled out any traumatic experiences with sex in the past. But there could be other psychological associations involved. I recommend that you try hypnotherapy. It is an inexpensive and gentle approach. Hypnotherapy may or may not get to the root or cause of your anal sex allergy, but it almost certainly can help you to overcome feeling sick after anal sex. The fact of the matter is that anal sex should *not* make you feel sick unless your man is so rough with you that he harms you physically. You are lucky that your man is versatile as well, and that he will receive anal sex from you while you get your problem solved. I hope that you will be able to take his cock up your ass very soon, feeling only a warm, positive glow afterwards.