“Adult-youth Friendships 2”
Dear Bearded Confidant,
This probably isn't a very common question for you; but after reading your advice for awhile, I figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. I'm 17 years old, gay, and have had a crush on my Uncle Kevin for a long time now. That in itself makes me somewhat embarrassed to tell this to people because they might think I'm really perverted or something (thankfully, he's not actually blood-related). So, initially, I just pushed my little infatuation to the back of my mind knowing nothing was ever likely to come of it. The thing is, during the last few years I've noticed many times where Kevin has said/done/gestured something that really got me wondering if he suspected my feelings and maybe even felt something like that towards me as well. Now, granted, I've always had a strong attraction to older, more mature men, plus I'm at a time in my life when my hormones are raging full-force, so I just kept telling myself my imagination was running away with me. Yet, it seems every time I'm around him now, Kevin says or does something which seems like a hint or innuendo of something more, to the point where I am now convinced he at least has some sort of affectionate feelings for me, whether or not they are sexual. Naturally, this situation has been nagging at me for a while, and I want so much to clear the air between us and possibly move our "relationship" onto a somewhat more intimate level, though not necessarily sexual. The problem is I don't know if revealing all this to him would be such a good idea realistically (he's married to my mom's sister and they have two boys of their own); or, if I should do something, how in the world I'd go about talking to him about something like that. The fact that I really don't ever actually see him except on holidays or family gatherings (though he doesn't live far away) complicates things even more. So, do you have any advice on how I could make something happen, or if I even should?
To begin with, of course, I can't recommend that you explore a sexual relationship with another man until you are of legal age in your community. Having said that, I recommend that you pursue some ways to spend more intimate time with your uncle (in a non-sexual way). Keep your cool, don't blurt out that you have a crush on him or anything like that, but think of a way that the two of you can be alone and share time together. Perhaps you can get him to volunteer to be your work-out partner, and the two of you can jog, lift weights, or study martial arts together. Physical activities are recommended because they can involve some touching, and it's natural to shower together afterwards. Spend as much time together as possible, getting to know one another better. If you feel horny around this man, keep those feelings to yourself until you are legally a man yourself so that you don't put your uncle into any danger. In the meantime, you can fantasize about him and jerk off in private. Once you are of legal age, you can casually chat with your uncle about how horny you feel sometimes. It is common for straight men to occasionally let off some steam with their buddies, and if your shared physical activities involve being naked around one another in the shower then you have a good chance to initiate some casual, natural sexual sharing between you.