Dear Bearded Confidant,

Recently my boyfriend and I visited a gay nudist lodge for the first time.  The freedom to be nude everywhere was wonderful and we both enjoyed it very much.  We also found the lodge offered a "fantasy room" that featured several bondage tables, foot and hand manacles, black light and very erotic pictures of bondage on the walls.  Neither of us had every tried bondage but we were both interested.  My boyfriend was very into the whole experience with his feet suspended in a sling while he lay on the table.  I, however, found it impossible to remain erect while in the room.  Why do I find it impossible to keep it up while in the midst of one of my biggest fantasies?  How can I  overcome this and bring out the "beast" within me?

Dear Softy,

While inside the bondage room, you may have experienced a bit of "performance anxiety." Any new sexual technique or activity requires a period of learning the ropes, so to speak. If bondage is a fantasy for you, then you'll have no problem getting your cock hard once you take time to become comfortable and confident with the set up. Start off by tying up your partner and fucking him with some sex toys. Don't even think about using your own cock until you're well into the session. You might also take a turn suspended in a sling, as this will allow you to relax into the experience as a passive participant. Having tried all that, bondage may turn out to be just a good fantasy fetish for you. Not everything that turns you on is something you need to participate in, necessarily. You might better enjoy merely looking at bondage scenes while making love with your partner in another way.